In no particular order:
1. Presentation, Response, Reaction.
- How you present, respond, and react to a situation will often determine the outcome.
2. Never ask more than twice.
- After the second time, make it happen.
3. If the answer to a question can't be no, then don't ask a question they can answer "NO" to.
- Either/Or. State what you want.
4. Value your words.
- Follow through.
5. State what you want rather than ask.
- Say what is going to happen instead of asking for it to happen.
6. First ________ then ________.
- So first this will happen then that will happen.
7. Validate.
- Sticker boards, positive comments, praise, praise, praise.
8. Everything needs a beginning, middle, and end.
- Use a timer to start an activity and when it ends, it ends. They don't get 5 more minutes. They get to look forward to the next thing.
9. Put them in a neutral state.
- A child in the midst of a tantrum is not going to hear reason. Bring them back into calm before talking. DO NOT LECTURE THE KID.
10. Move them forward.
- Kids get stuck in a tantrum, bad behavior, whatever. We need to keep moving them forward. We're shopping, they stand up in the cart, move them onward (i.e. who sees the dog blanket? Where's the bananas?).
11. 80% positive, 20% corrective.
- So most of our interaction should be fun. Little of it should be corrective (also known as discipline).
12. Reduce the lecture.
- State in the smallest number of words (i.e. "No Hit!").
13. Consistency is key.
- Follow through every time.
14. If he can't do __________, what can he do?
- Let the child be part of the solution.
15. Prevention is easier than fixing.
- That's why our house is an example of minimalist style living.
16. Don't act upon them.
- Offer assistance. Don't pull clothes on them, give them a chance, let them ask for help.
17. Limit eye contact for rewarding and reinforcing. Do NOT use eye contact when correcting.
- Eyes hold power, kids manipulate with their eyes.
18. If you don't like it, don't let it work.
19. Respond to first positive communication.
- Kids struggle to get our attention, frustration sets in, etc.
20. Don't assume a child can do anything differently.
- We have to teach them what we want to happen.
21. Practice the behavior we want.
- PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!
22. Use the child's name only in positive ways.
23. Know what you want __________ to look like.
24. Find a place to go.
- Goes back to moving the kid forward.
25. Block instead of grab.
- When a kid takes something away from the other, don't grab it away, work it away so they are AGREEING to give it back.
26. Don't become part of the fight, move them past it.
1. Presentation, Response, Reaction.
- How you present, respond, and react to a situation will often determine the outcome.
2. Never ask more than twice.
- After the second time, make it happen.
3. If the answer to a question can't be no, then don't ask a question they can answer "NO" to.
- Either/Or. State what you want.
4. Value your words.
- Follow through.
5. State what you want rather than ask.
- Say what is going to happen instead of asking for it to happen.
6. First ________ then ________.
- So first this will happen then that will happen.
7. Validate.
- Sticker boards, positive comments, praise, praise, praise.
8. Everything needs a beginning, middle, and end.
- Use a timer to start an activity and when it ends, it ends. They don't get 5 more minutes. They get to look forward to the next thing.
9. Put them in a neutral state.
- A child in the midst of a tantrum is not going to hear reason. Bring them back into calm before talking. DO NOT LECTURE THE KID.
10. Move them forward.
- Kids get stuck in a tantrum, bad behavior, whatever. We need to keep moving them forward. We're shopping, they stand up in the cart, move them onward (i.e. who sees the dog blanket? Where's the bananas?).
11. 80% positive, 20% corrective.
- So most of our interaction should be fun. Little of it should be corrective (also known as discipline).
12. Reduce the lecture.
- State in the smallest number of words (i.e. "No Hit!").
13. Consistency is key.
- Follow through every time.
14. If he can't do __________, what can he do?
- Let the child be part of the solution.
15. Prevention is easier than fixing.
- That's why our house is an example of minimalist style living.
16. Don't act upon them.
- Offer assistance. Don't pull clothes on them, give them a chance, let them ask for help.
17. Limit eye contact for rewarding and reinforcing. Do NOT use eye contact when correcting.
- Eyes hold power, kids manipulate with their eyes.
18. If you don't like it, don't let it work.
19. Respond to first positive communication.
- Kids struggle to get our attention, frustration sets in, etc.
20. Don't assume a child can do anything differently.
- We have to teach them what we want to happen.
21. Practice the behavior we want.
- PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!
22. Use the child's name only in positive ways.
23. Know what you want __________ to look like.
24. Find a place to go.
- Goes back to moving the kid forward.
25. Block instead of grab.
- When a kid takes something away from the other, don't grab it away, work it away so they are AGREEING to give it back.
26. Don't become part of the fight, move them past it.
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