Mark's an important guy too

Very often in the crazy busy weekday rush, Mark gets ignored, snapped at, and/or bossed around. We're a typical married couple with a bunch of kids (in our case boys).

When Ryan is mad, it carries over to the rest of us. He has a way of creating tension with his grunts, angry movements, and such -- its as if we're on the edge of a volcano waiting for something to set off an eruption. When Seany is unhappy, he creates the worst headaches a person can endure. His screams have a particular piercing quality that led to the ear plug dramas of 2006 and 2007.

Andrew is usually unfazed by whatever they're doing, while Alex will not be able to function at all with screaming, hitting, and total loss of control going down in the background. Part of the reason this house suited our needs was that it allowed Alex a place to go when this stuff goes down.

Yesterday was such a day. By the time Mark got home, I was faking happiness. In a Maeve Binchy novel, a character says, "I never knew so much of life was acting." Even though I'm an open book, don't have an secrets, etc, I act a lot -- a smile leads to a smile, a distraction can snap the chicklets out of a bad mood, so I can fake cheerfulness as well as an cheerleader.

Sean and Ryan although eating were spending tremendous amounts of energy screaming, hitting each other and Andrew, and basically creating an environment of disharmony. Alex was totally unable to do a lick of homework which led to my personality switch to drill sergeant -- he did the homework, one painful step at a time, but hated his mother. Andrew began to chase Seany through the house leading to loud screams of pleasure and terror. We had to spray paint the backyard in case the guy who is to quote the sprinklers and drainage trenches appeared today. By the time Mark ate dinner it was 8pm.

When he snapped at me a bit later, I had nothing left and wanted nothing to do with him. I know my silences are more punishing than any words I issue. I do the whole ignore you thing well.

Some things Mark has done for me lately to remind me what a great husband and dad he is:

1. Hung the "keys" board without being asked.

2. Spent Saturday doing housework, while I shopped.

3. Dealt with everyone when the headache from tonsil hell resurfaced Sunday.

4. Changed his work schedule this week to accommodate our kids varied locations in the evenings.

5. Printed directions, schedules and emails without a reminder.

6. Basically, be nice to me when I'm not always all I can be.

7. Heading to the boy scout store to pick up some stuff I should have gotten weeks ago.

I love you, sweetie. Thank you for all you do. We'll have a better day today.